


Afraid

by AlpineFresh



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Gen, Get ready for the collaboration of 10PM and 6AM me, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Nightmares, still don't know how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:34:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26254984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlpineFresh/pseuds/AlpineFresh
Summary: “Christ, Tommy, can’t you just shut the fuck up for five seconds?”A sliver of dread and doubt crept in as he watched his friend walk away, not once glancing back at the younger.(Title from The Neighborhood 'Afraid')
Comments: 50
Kudos: 897





	Afraid

**Author's Note:**

> *Distant chanting of a sadistic writer muttering, angst, angst angst, (and fluff)*
> 
> Sup, hope you're doing well today/tonight!
> 
> TW: Blood, non-graphic depictions of injury. Also, some not character death, but it kinda looks like character death for a minute?
> 
> Enjoy the show ;)

_“Christ, Tommy, can’t you just shut the fuck up for_ **_five_** _seconds?” Wilbur growled, glaring sharply at the younger._

_Tommy laughed his friend off, “Whatever,_ **_bitch_ ** _! I’ll say what I want!” He announced loudly._

_His confidence wavered when he noticed Wilbur’s cold expression, his lips were curled into a slight grimace, as if he were disgusted by the boy in front of him. “Alright then, but you’ll be doing that elsewhere, I can’t be bothered to put up with your bullshit any longer,” The man scoffed, turning his back to Tommy._

_A sliver of dread and doubt crept in as he watched his friend walk away. “Wait, Wilbur! I’ll be quieter, promise!” Tommy insisted._

_He started after his friend, steadily upping his pace as Wilbur’s back got farther and farther away._

_His vision went black, and then there was crimson blood smeared on his hands and soaking into the fabric of his shirt. Tommy looked up frantically, trying to find the source of the blood._

_His breath caught in his throat, blood running cold at the sight in front of him. Tubbo was lying face up on the ground with dull, sightless eyes, his once green shirt was torn up and stained black with fresh blood pouring out of a stomach wound. Tommy barely noticed Techno and Phil knelt by his friend’s side, frantically trying to stop the bleeding._

_Tommy stumbled forward on unsteady legs, stomach twisting itself into uncomfortable knots. “Tubbo?” He choked out, eyes watering._

_Techno was on his feet immediately, glaring with raw unfiltered hatred directed towards Tommy as he pointed his sword at the younger. “Take one more step and I promise that will be the last thing you do,” He warned._

_Tommy jolted, eyes widening. “But- Tubbo- he’s-!”_

_Sharp metal pressed against the crook of his neck, he hadn’t even realized he had taken a step forward._

_Now Phil was standing beside Techno, glaring with just as much heat as the pink haired man. “_ **_Tommy._ ** _Back the fuck off, you’ve already done enough damage,” Phil seethed._

_Tommy scrambled back fearfully, eyes flicking back to his friend’s limp body. No, that can’t- he couldn’t possibly mean that! He looked down at his trembling hands, staring at them through blurry eyes. The blood burned into his skin- Tubbo’s bood, Tommy was covered in Tubbo’s blood._

_The tears rolled freely down his cheeks, choking on his sobs as he crumpled to the ground shaking. Tubbo was dead- It was his fault, everyone hated him and his best friend was dead- It was all his fault, his fault, his fault, his fault-_

Tommy woke up in a cold sweat, gasping for breath. He bolted upright, Tubbo- he had to go see Tubbo!

He threw the blankets off and slid out the bed, padding softly out of his room. He snuck down the dim hallway with purpose, eyes locked on one closed door in particular. The door opened with a faint creek, revealing a messy room filled with random junk.

Tommy’s shoulders sagged in relief at the steady rise and fall of Tubbo’s chest, not a speck of blood in sight. He shut the door again before sliding down to the ground to drop his head into his hands. He exhaled shakily, blinking away tears as he slowly regained his composure.

It was just a nightmare, Tubbo was alive and well, his friends didn’t hate him. He had nothing to worry about.

Despite repeating it over in his head as he staggered to his feet, he still couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt that clung to him.

\---

“You’re up early,” Phil noted, causing Tommy to startle.

Tommy couldn’t bring himself to look at Phil as the man meandered his way into the kitchen to turn on the coffee machine. “Yeah, I- uh, wanted to watch the sunrise,” He lied.

Phil gave a noncommittal hum, obviously still too tired to notice anything amiss. 

Tommy gazed out the window, watching robins hop around the front yard in search of food. He felt suddenly envious of the birds, of the ability to fly away from their problems before they even got the chance to become problems in the first place.

He was snapped abruptly out of his thoughts by a hand on his shoulder. 

“Tommy, you good?”

The teen glanced at Phil _-His cobalt eyes were filled with loathing and distrust-_ Tommy didn't look the man in the eye.

Tommy shrugged off Phil’s hand, curving his lips into a convincing smile, “Sure thing, big P, just doing some thinking.”

Phil raised his brows, " _Okay_ … Well I was going to ask if you felt like helping out with breakfast, but if you're too busy thinking…"

Tommy perked up slightly, curiosity piqued. "What did you have in mind?" He asked.

“Makin' some blueberry pancakes.”

Tommy’s smile became a little more real as he hopped off the couch, shoving his worries to the back of his mind. “These pancakes are gonna be so fucking good, those bitches won’t know what hit them,” He claimed as he followed Phil into the kitchen, shoulders feeling lighter by the second.

\---

Tommy breathed in the scent of freshly cooked pancakes, sure, some of them were a little more scuffed than others, but he thought they turned out pretty well. Phil gave Tommy a pat on the back, “Why don’t you go wake the others?”

Tommy grinned, cracking his knuckles in anticipation. “Can do, big man!”

He made his way down the hallway, not bothering to quiet his footsteps as he stopped outside Tubbo’s door. Tommy burst into the room with a shout. “Oh my god, Tubbo! Get the fuck up- go, go, go!”

Tubbo fell out of the bed with a high pitched shriek. “Aah! what the hell!”

Tommy leaned against the doorframe as he burst out laughing, “You should have seen the look on your face- priceless!”

Tubbo went limp on the ground and for a moment, Tommy’s heart stopped and he felt like he was back in his nightmare.

_-Blank eyes faced the sky, blood pooled around a tattered body-_

“Why would you do this?” Tubbo groaned, making Tommy breathe a silent sigh of relief.

“Phil and I made breakfast, blueberry pancakes,” Tommy revealed proudly.

The other teen was quick to sit up, rubbing sleep from his eyes. “ _Pancakes_ ? Why didn’t you say that _earlier_?”

Tommy’s grin widened, pushing himself off the doorframe. “Because this was way more fun,” he pointed out cheekily.

The blond turned to leave, but jerked backwards with a stifled squeak at the sight of Techno right in front of him. 

_-Cold steel pressed against a vital artery in his neck, crimson eyes were trained on him, filled with a fiery hatred for the boy in front of him-_

“ _Techno_ , my man! I was just about to wake you!” Tommy said, taking a subtle step back.

It must not have been subtle enough though, because the man immediately began to inspect him. Tommy had to stop himself from shifting uncomfortably under the intense scrutinizing gaze, grabbing at the edges of his shirt to avoid fidgeting with his hands.

“I don’t know what house _you’ve_ been living in, but these walls aren’t exactly soundproof,” Techno quipped in a voice rough from sleep. 

Tommy chuckled, scratching at the back of his neck. “Woops.”

There was a beat silence between them before Techno decided to break it. “You know, I’m pretty sure Wilbur’s still unconscious-”

Tommy narrowed his eyes, “Why did you say _unconscious_ , that makes it sound like you knocked him out or something.”

Techno waved off his words, “While I _am_ starting to think Wilbur could sleep through a tornado warning, I also happen to believe you to be more obnoxious than even those.”

The blond paused. Was that an insult? He genuinely couldn’t tell when it came to Techno.

Techno left the hall before Tommy thought to ask. He shook his head dismissively, it didn’t matter. 

He stalked over to Wilbur’s room, ready to burst in similarly to what he did to Tubbo. His hand froze on the handle _-“Can’t you just shut the fuck up for_ **_five_ ** _seconds?” Wilbur’s normally warm brown eyes were colder and harsher than any winter storm-_ Tommy clutched the doorknob as if it were his lifeline.

It’s not real, just a bad dream, that’s all. Wilbur never stayed mad at him, plus, he’d be more upset about missing pancakes than being woken by Tommy, he reasoned internally.

Not for the first time, Tommy pushed back his doubts and put on a brave face. He had no reason to be concerned, he was _the_ Tommy Innit! What was that one saying? They’re more afraid of you than you are of them? Wait- wasn’t that for things like spiders…? Wilbur’s spindly enough to be a spider, right?

Shit, he was stalling, wasn’t he? Tommy took a single steadying breath before biting the bullet and throwing the door open. “Brrrah! Brrraah! I am Hercules Mulligan, up in abbunnunu bunununa bunabununa, _come again_!” Tommy came out the gate strong despite not remembering most of the lyrics.

Wilbur grumbled something unintelligible as he pulled the duvet up over his head. Tommy frowned, trying to figure out what to try next since screaming Hamilton references didn’t work.

He suppressed a smile as he snuck over to the bedside, stopping in a slightly crouched position. Tommy bounced onto the bed, landing on top of Wilbur.

“ _Agh_ ! What the hell Tommy?!” Wilbur shoved the teen off of the bed without hesitation.

Tommy landed on the hard floor with a thud, giggling the entire time. “That’s what you get for not getting out of bed the first time, _bitch_!” He crowed as he picked himself up off the floor.

“Tommy, you insufferable child, why couldn’t you let me sleep in peace?” Wilbur griped.

_He’s not actually mad, everything’s fine_ . Tommy crossed his arms and tapped his foot impatiently. “Because I made fucking _pancakes_ , that’s why!”

Wilbur peeked out from the blankets. “Oh yeah? _Tommy Innit_ became a cook, huh?” He questioned jokingly.

“Yup! All on my own... With Phil,” The last part was added on quietly.

Wilbur burst out laughing, “Of course, _with_ Phil.”

Tommy pursed his lips. “Y’know, I’m starting to think you don’t want any pancakes,” he decided with a huff.

Wilbur shimmied his way out of the covers and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. “No, no. I’m coming,” he affirmed, still smiling fondly.

Tommy gave a satisfied nod, “Good, because I didn’t make that stupid fucking whale pancake for nothing,” he said before exiting the room.

\---

They all sat around the table, Tommy was the only one standing as he dished out everyone’s special pancakes. “Bee for Tubbo, crown for Techno, whale for Wilbur, and heart for Phil,” He announced as he deposited each pancake onto the correct plates.

He blinked in surprise when Phil suddenly slipped a pancake on the teen's own plate. “And don’t forget about the music disc for Tommy,” the man added.

Tommy looked between the pancake and Phil, he didn't remember that pancake being made.

Phil chuckled before reaching up to ruffle Tommy's hair. “I made it while you were off waking the others up," he explained, answering Tommy's unasked question.

Tommy batted Phil's hand away with a halfhearted glare. "Oi, don't mess up my hair, bitch-"

Wilbur sighed. "Oh my God, Tommy. Just sit down and eat your food," he said exasperatedly.

Tommy froze for a moment, clamping his mouth shut. "Sorry about that, Wilbur," he apologized before sitting down and turning his attention to his plate.

He didn't look back up in time to see their concerned expressions.

\---

Tommy nudged the last few bites of his food around with his fork, not really paying attention to Tubbo’s animated discussion with Wilbur.

“What do you think Tommy?" Tubbo asked suddenly, effectively snapping him out of his daze.

"Hm, yeah?" He lifted his head.

“Tubbo thinks square pizzas are better than the classic circle pizza-"

"They're easier to eat!" Tubbo put in.

Wilbur gave Tubbo a pointed stare. "-and we need a tiebreaker," he finished.

Tommy absentmindedly drummed his fingers on the table. "Oh _come on_ Tubbo, you actually prefer _square_ pizza? Next you'll say you like pineapple on pizza!"

Tubbo crossed his arms, "Hey, pineapple isn't that bad on pizza!" He insisted.

"Oh my god, Tubbo- you have such shit taste," Wilbur groaned, running a hand down the side of his face.

Tommy opened his mouth to agree with Wilbur but stopped when he saw Techno stand suddenly with a butter knife in hand.

Techno made his way around the table to where Tommy sat with a weirdly blank expression on his face. The pink haired man twirled the knife in between his fingers before jabbing it in Tommy’s direction.

Tommy flinched back, throwing his hands up and scrunching his eyes tightly closed with a panicked yelp.

“I knew it,” Techno muttered at the same time as a chair scraped against the floor.

“What the hell are you doing, Techno?!” Phil demanded.

Tommy peeked out from behind his hands just in time to see Techno drop the knife on the table, completely ignoring his friends’ confused words. “What’s going on with you?” he asked.

The blond bit his lip indecisively, “What do you mean, ‘ _what’s up with me_ ’? You just put a fucking knife in my face!”

Techno shook his head, “That was just to confirm my suspicions. You’re scared of us- or at the very least, scared of me,” He stated simply.

Tommy balled his fists, feeling his nails dig into the palms of his hands. “That’s stupid, I’m not-”

“You haven’t looked any of us in the eyes all morning, _and_ you haven’t interrupted any conversations yet during the entirety of breakfast. That’s not even mentioning the way you flinched when you saw me this morning, or how you hesitated way too long before waking up Wilbur. Don’t think I haven’t noticed the way you keep grabbing things to stop yourself from fidgeting either,” Techno listed off easily.

“So what’s wrong?” Techno’s voice softened, almost imperceptibly.

Tommy crossed his arms, swallowing thickly around the growing lump in his throat. “It’s really nothing, just an off day,” he insisted.

“Obviously it’s a little more than an _off day_ if you can’t even make eye contact,” Techno scoffed.

The teen clenched his jaw, exhaling through his teeth. “Fine- maybe it’s a bit more than that, but it’s _fine_ ,” Tommy said forcefully.

“Tommy-”

“I had a nightmare, okay?” He blurted.

Tommy paused for a few short seconds before continuing. "I had a nightmare that Wilbur found me too annoying and he left. And- and then Tubbo, he… He was dead and it was my fucking fault! You and Phil _hated_ me, I thought you were going to kill me," his voice ended off in a hoarse whisper, eyes stinging with tears he refused to let fall.

"Oh, Tommy," came Phil's heartbroken whisper.

Tommy glared, he didn't want any pity. "Like I said, it's fine. I know that wouldn't actually happen, so there's no reason for me to be so upset." He wrapped his arms tighter around himself.

“You don't think you should be upset, but you are, and that's okay. It sounds like quite the shitty dream.” Techno pointed out.

“Yeah, it… It really was,” Tommy mumbled.

Tubbo got up and walked over wordlessly to envelope Tommy in a tight hug. Tommy stiffened briefly before finally leaning into the contact with a sigh.

Wilbur spoke up next, “Tommy, you know none of us actually find you annoying, right? Sure, maybe you get on my nerves like a younger brother sometimes, but we’d _never_ leave you. Got it?”

A small smile found its way onto Tommy’s face, even if he already knew, it was nice to hear it out loud. “Yeah, I know… I’m too cool for you guys to want to leave.” He leaned away from Tubbo.

Techno let out an amused huff, “Keep telling yourself that, Tommy.”

“What? I mean, It’s true! Right Tubbo?” Tommy nudged his friend in the side.

Tubbo hesitated at being put on the spot, “Uhh, yes?”

“See? Tubbo knows it’s true!” Tommy grinned.

“Hey Tommy?” Phil started.

Tommy glanced over at the man with a slight head tilt.

“Don’t you ever hesitate to come to us if you need anything, okay?”

Tommy was hit by an emotion he couldn’t quite identify, warmth flooding his chest. “I know Phil… Thanks.”

\----

Phil slowly blinked awake, trying to figure out what woke him. He almost jumped at the sight of an ominous silhouette standing at the end of his bed. He narrowed his eyes in an attempt to make out details in the darkness.

He recognized Tommy’s shitty posture and could just vaguely make out his short blond hair. The boy’s shoulders were raised slightly, arms folded over his chest.

Even while just barely clinging to consciousness, Phil could tell Tommy was distressed about something. He didn’t give it a second thought before lifting the blanket up in a silent offer of comfort.

Tommy clambered onto the bed and slipped under the covers without a word. Phil let his arm drop back down and closed his eyes again as Tommy curled up against his chest. 

It didn't take long for the teen's breath to even out with sleep. 

“G’night, Tommy,” Phil murmured before finally giving back into his exhaustion and drifting off.

**Author's Note:**

> I thought of that last scene with Phil last minute, but I'm glad that I added it.
> 
> Editing this to Caramelldansen is the best thing ever because it's like, sure there's blood everywhere and that really sucks, but damn this music is a fucking bop, amiright?
> 
> Also, the angsty beginning was surprisingly written by 10PM me, while the softer end was written by 6AM me.
> 
> Please let me know if there's a tag or warning that I missed, I have a habit of not realizing those things. Please remember to take care of yourself!
> 
> (Also, if anyone wants some music recs, Forrest makes really good music, especially his album Warm, always puts me in a good mood)


End file.
